Thursday, June 30, 2005
4:47 PM
Mei mei(in my frameless specs)
(c) dwws89
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
10:16 PM
Alright. I am going to come to terms with my emotions.. For my sake and the sake of my "family" who I think are sick of me le. Yup. Oh wells.
I haven't recovered yet. Yup. I haven't. Mmmhmm.. *sigh* Dunno la. Feeling crappy about it. I'm know you want me to forget. But you must realise its impossible to forget. I can't so don't expect me to. The most I can do is to just put my feelings to one side.. Ok? Dun think you'll be reading this. But yea.. Mmmmm. I'm sick of feelings so much pain. But its my fault. I'm sick of crying everytime I see you online, or see your picture. I know it sounds stupid and all, but its true. Everytime I see you online, I want to say hi and yet, I dun want to cause all you'll do is answer the questions that I ask.. Nth more, nth less. Its pretty obvious that you wish you weren't chatting to me. Yup. So its really hard to chat although I want to.
Oh well.. I won't forget you, neither will I stop loving you. Yup. I miss you lots. I'm sorry that I kinda was so stubborn when you sent me the file "Hey". I just realised how bloody stressful it is for your dad to keep hounding you and all.. I should have let you go without a fight now that I think about it. Not because of anything but so you won't be scolded by your dad anymore. Yea. I dunno what to say le.
Tears flow endlessly down my face as I type this goodbye. I'll always love you.. Now I have come to the end.
Monday, June 27, 2005
1:44 PM
My hand hurts.. *sigh*
Today was the English Paper 1 and SS.. Mmmhm.. I spent the first half an hour of the English paper lost in space.. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My mind was lost to the outside world.. It was only after that that I managed to pull myself together and started writing.
I did the formal letter first as that I couldn't decide on a Section One topic.. Got my format for formal letter wrong.. Well, only a little wrong la. Yup.
Then after that I went on to Section Two. Didn't feel like writing any stories, just felt like arguing.. So I wrote discursive.. Yup. the question was.. "Should character, instead of grades, be given more emphasis for entry to higher education? What are your views?" Just kept whacking and whacking if you know what I mean.. Haha. Mmmm.
Then was recess. Had Western food. Tasted like crap, but well.. there wasn't anything else better.. Yup. Looked through Daniel Yew's SS textbook with him, disturbed him a little.. Hahaha. He was so tensed la and me, as usual, calm. :D Mmhm.
After recess was the SS paper lor.. Didn't study anything. Surprisingly easy to manage. Seemed to remember all the formats and what to write and do for the Source Based Questions.. Yea. The topic I was hoping for to come out for the Structured Essay Questions also came out. YAY! :) Did that chapter before, but this time didn't write too well la. But at least I knew what was going on. Haha. Mmmmm. After finishing the SBQs though, my hand was like, numb and even holding on to the pen was painful.. My skin and flesh were like, raw la.. Crazy right? Mmhm. When I was writing the SEQs, my hands were moving in slow motion. I was like watching the Matrix in front of me la.. Except my fingers weren't dodging any bullets or whatever. Mmhm. But maybe it was just me, cause the time seemed to pass equally slowly.. Yup. Strange. I managed to complete the paper though. Hehe. Must be God's intervention. Guess Alex's prayer worked! :) Hahahaha.
Rushed home to sleep.. But didn't manage to.. Just didn't feel like sleeping..
I mean, have you ever felt like this before? At night you just dun seem to want to sleep, then you tell yourself, "Aiyah. Just a few hours less sleep won't kill me." Then in the morning when you wake up, you'll tell yourself, "Damn. I wish I slept earlier. I'm gonna sleep when I get home later.." Then you force yourself to wake up and go to school. All throughout the day you feel damn tired. You tell yourself, "Grrr. I WILL sleep later in the afternoon. Once I reach home." On the bus back you just want to die. Walking home kills you. You reach home! HOME SWEET HOME YEA? Haha. You lie on your bed. You feel so awake, you can't sleep.. CRAP. Hahaha.
Thats what I went through. *sigh*
Peoples' hearts have saturated fats that kill them.. Mine has saturated pain that kills me..
Sunday, June 26, 2005
8:16 PM
BAH. Just feeling so restless. This isn't who I am.. What's happening to me? *huge sigh* I've turned into this.. angry person.. Cynical.. Angry. Help.. *sigh*
I just miss you so much.. I never wanted this.. Oh wells.. Glad you got your freedom back. Your life's fine now right? Mmmmm.. Happy for ya, I am.
I wish you were a bitch that I could hate and forget.. Too bad you ain't.. Pls dun be.. Cause that aint who you are..
12:33 AM
JUST WHAT DO YOU WANT OF ME?!?!? WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME LIKE THAT? DANGLING ME ON YOUR STRING.. You know my promise to You.. Yet You keep trying to make me break it? WHATS THAT FOR? WHY?
I dunno what You want la.. Are You testing me? *sigh*
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
1:21 PM
Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
-----
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
--------------------
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
--------------------
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside'
Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
--------------------
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
--------------------
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
--------------------
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
--------------------
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
11:41 AM
Been sleeping at around 2 a.m. for the past few nights.. Haha. I gotta stop this before school starts, or I won't be able to wake up at 6.25 a.m. everyday.. Mmhm.
Went out with Limpon and Yin Ling yesterday. I met them at Marine Parade Library and Verity was with them. It was good to see her. I had the same kinda feeling you get when you see an old friend.. I mean, she isn't an old friend and I dun really know her la, but still.. Yup. Dunno why I did have that feeling. Mmhm..
Verity stayed there to finish reading some book while me, Limpon and Yin Ling went to Parkway Parade to walk around. They were kinda hyper la.. Yup.
Around 4.30 p.m. we brought Yin Ling to her tuition centre above Macs. Cleverland. Haha. Never heard of it before. :) Then Limpon and I went to Swensens to eat. Ordered an Earthquake and fries. She ordered most of the flavours as I couldn't decide on what to eat. After we began eating, Limpon asked her friend, Victoria to come join us. Haha. TKGS Choir girl. Friendly person. Yep. Weird eater too! :P She even ate the melted ice cream la.. After what Limpon did to it.. Hehehehe. :D I wouldn't touch it man! Never! Hahaha. Mmhm.
I had to leave at 6 p.m. to get to sch for the Passing Out Ceremony.. Forgot to return Verity's book to Limpon, so she and Victoria had to come down to Victoria School. Hahahaha. Brought them to see the entire school song painted on our staircase. Yup. Had to climb all the way to the parade square. Mmmmhmm. Then they left and yea. Met ZC coming into school.
Kk. I've gotta go study now. Add more later, if I got the mood to blog about POC. Yep. Alright. See yA!
Monday, June 20, 2005
10:56 AM
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
-----
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
--------------------
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
--------------------
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
--------------------
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
--------------------
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
--------------------
(Oh.. Holiday..)
--------------------
Sometimes the system goes on the brink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
--------------------
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
--------------------
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
--------------------
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Sunday, June 19, 2005
10:46 PM
*Sigh* Really miss you.. Crap.. Mmhm.
9:54 PM
Alright. Its official. Joel Wong Wei Hung is no longer a brother of mine. Thats the way you want it? Fine. Hah. Lets see how far he goes.. Lousy piece of scum. Haha. Dun anyone of you associate me with him or ask me anything regarding him.
Petty, insecure loser of the lowest grade. Just because I refused to lend him my Zen Micro when he wanted it(I lent it later), he comes and says I'm not a good bro. Sheesh. Wake up la! You treat me very well? Hah. Dun make me laugh man.. If how you have been treating me like is good, I treat you like I treat God man. Pul-leese.. I'm not your slave to do everything as you ask or want alright? Yea. Get that in your head. Oh. I forgot, there won't be a next time. *CHEERS*
Then he goes on to say that I mix around with lotsa ugly girls. DOTS.. Its not a crime is it? They are my good friends yea? Just because you're so materialistic and proud that you keep judging people and thinking you're so great. Yea. Jill was good looking. But see what happened to her? She left you jerk! Not saying that all girls who leave guys are bad but yea. You get the point. High and mighty Joel. Haha. Born leader of the world. Go and die man. Leader of your own life.
Then started to say that people dun respect me and I am being other people's dog.. Just because you don't think about others and only think of yourself and only help yourself. Look, I bought the bloody tickets for Wyman cause it was a special day and I wanted him to enjoy his day yea? And he didn't rush up cause I didn't manage to contact him to tell him I was in a rush. Only contacted Ade and she didn't know I bought the tickets. I serve others, anything wrong? You serve yourself. Your needs. The only person important in your life is YOU, YOU and YOU. Yup.
I've had enough of your nonsense. You keep bringing up the issue about the girls I mix with and me respecting Wyman alot and all. At least he earned my respect. You never did. Yea.
The only thing you can do is hit people right? You hit me again today. Punch me in the face, kicked me in the back. Haha. But too bad. I've grown stronger. Your pathetic attempts to hurt me have failed. I've fought with worse people than you, people rougher than you so yea. I did get hurt the other time. But not this time. You think I can't fight back? If I wanted to, I'll be a good fight for you. I didn't train for nothing. I just dun wanna resort to the same kinda low level stuff.
You're a loser..
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
7:34 AM
Morning world.. Dad nagged and scolded real bad last night.. Mmmm. So yea, guess I'll be using the com much less now.. At least till if I manage to do well for my Mid Years which start on the 27th of June. Yup. Just here to update my blog and yea, tell ya peeps I won't be around, if you even care la.. Yea..
Starting from today I guess..
Man.. I dun wanna go for chem!! Hopefully my dad forgot that I have chem today? Haha. And doesn't wake up.. Yup. I dun feel well, my eye is swollen again..(I keep rubbing it when I dream leh.. Subconsciously.. HMMM..)
I've been having all these weird dreams, with friends in it. Can't remember the other night's dream, but last night I was in some running group. They just kept running then going into competitions dunno what la.. I saw Victoria, Verity, Yi Ling, some malay guy from school(one of the soccer players).. Yup.
Feeling so so tired.. Emotionally and physically. I lay on my bed after Dad's nag cum scolding then I just couldn't move.. My whole body ached. So I just laid there and yea.. Tried to sleep but can't so I thought of stuff.. A little into the immediate past and what I'm gonna do in the future. Feelings for B.G are still there.. Not that I try to keep it there or anything, but it doesn't seem to fade.. Mmmhmm.. Yup.
Alright. I'll be going off now.. MAYBE I'll come back tonight.. Yup. See ya!
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
10:22 PM
Anna just told me that fats are only burnt AFTER 30 MINS of jogging. Mmhm. So I've been jogging for nth?? I tot it's 15 mins.. Dunno who told me de.. Hmm. Hahahahahhaha. Thats sucks. Better tell mum! :) Yup.
Mmmmm. Brain tired, after just two hours of chem class, I couldn't absorb le.. So yea.. Luckily most peeps felt the same as me, so the class was ended.. Yay! :D
Tmr still got class.. *sigh* I'm tired!!! Mmmmhm...
Going off le! Bbye!
Ge Qian rocks my world!
Monday, June 13, 2005
11:08 PM
Heylo.. Dad is seriously on my case now.. Sheesh. For studies la. Crap. Damn tired now. *Sigh*
Feeling so stressed la! So many chapters to go through and hopefully master before Mid-Years so I can do well.. Then from the time after till prelims can practice even more and yea.. I'm so behind schedule but hey.. it's not easy to do every single qn in the book and cover a few chapters in one day yea? Not with extra classes.. Mmmhm..
At times like these, all one needs is someone to love and to show love in return.. Or perhaps I'm talking nonsense.. *sigh* Parents aren't being tactful with what they say.. Guess they have that right.. But still.. It is kinda hurting yea? Oh well.. Thats my prob huh.. Crap.
Now studies are gonna be all I'm bothered with.. Friends, relationships, everything out of the way for now? Hmmm. Maybe friends shouldn't be kicked out. Haha. After all, one needs friends to keep sane.. But yea. Can't go out with them so much lor.. Mmmmm. Yea. Single but unavailable. Hahaha. Sounds cool.. That's what I am now.. Yup. Till God somehow tells me that a girl is the one.. Pray for patience and wisdom if ya wanna pray for me.. Yea.
Alright. Gonna sleep le.. Tmr got chem at 9, but dad can only fetch me to sch at 8, cause he needs to work. Yea. Kk. Nite peeps!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
5:38 PM
Me and Wyman..
(c) dwws89
5:34 PM
Sentosa! (With the Timothy Project Peeps) :)
(c) dwws89
Saturday, June 11, 2005
10:13 PM
Combined Training
(c) dwws89
Friday, June 10, 2005
10:39 PM
I'm really at a lost about what to say. What to type. Haha. Yup. Mmmmmm.
Haven't been doing much these days..
But I still wanna blog. Yup. *sigh*
Shimu's asking me when I will draw a line.. End this.. End my.. suffering.. Haha.. Seriously, I dun want to, but I know i have to.. Mmmmm. I just can't tell myself, ALRIGHT! From today onwards, I will DRAW THE LINE. I CAN'T! You say maybe I'm not as weak as I think I am. Maybe I am. Yea.. Dunno la.
Hopefully I'm gg sentosa tmr. I've been wanting to go so bad. Heh.
Mmmmmm. I'm just gonna stop here..
Dee-dee-dum-dee-doo.. I love Jay Chou's songs now.. Those in my com la. *grin*
3:03 PM
Been editing small stuff around the blog.. Whatever I can do to change it. Haha. Yup.
But I need more experienced help!! Wanna put music, and maybe a black background which won't change the mood. Haha. I dun like bright colours.. ;) Gotta find a background that is black but also interesting la.. Yup. Its kinda plain now. Mmhm.
Anyone there to help me? :) Heh.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
5:19 PM
Heylo.. Edited the template. Yup. Mmhm.
Comments pls.. Thanks. Haha.
Man.. Am I tired or what. Spent few hours doing just editing! After looking through all the letters and numbers and then doing trial and error to see what changes what.. *Yawn*
ARGH.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
10:33 PM
Please Remember - Leann Rimes
---------------
Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And your left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our seperate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made
---------------
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me
---------------
Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time
We'll never know again
---------------
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
And remember, please remember me
---------------
Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
And remember, please remember me
---------------
And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
And I had you and you had me
---------------
Please remember, Please remember
Sunday, June 05, 2005
8:14 AM
Heylo.. Mmmm. Morning world. It's a Sunday.. Yup.
Slept at 1+ last night. Had some trouble sleeping and all.. Mmmm. Due to.. Haha.. Found out that some people have been talking.. Yup. PRetty disturbing. But thanks for your concern. Mmmmm. I wil find you guys if I'm about to fall. Hahaha. Yup.
Today's church family day. Mmmm. Ha! Only me and Dad going for church. And if I'm allowed, then only me going for the family day thingy.. Oh well.. Heh. Yup. Mmmm. Sigh. Some kinda family day.
I dunno what else to say. I dun want to say too much here. Although I might already have. Heh. Just so tired. Trudging on the path of life. "Come on! Get on your feet and move!" everyone says. Well, my reply is this. I need some time to get back on my feet. My legs are injured. I never fell so hard before! How about pulling me along for now? Yea. Just pull me. I'll get up in a while. Heh. Let me rest..
Thursday, June 02, 2005
8:06 PM
Mmmmm. As I said, I should be the one screaming.. Unless you.. are too feeling the same as I am, but forcing yourself to do as you are doing? Thats what I hope.. Whether it is true or not.. Maybe its just wishful thinking on my part.. I'm just trying to find some explaination.. *Sigh*
Yup. Went to church earlier.. Supposed to study but couldn't concentrate.. (Now you can and I can't..) Oh well. Talked to Jie Zhu.. Feel a LITTLE better. Feeling sick now.. Giddy, feel like vomiting.. Headache.. Maybe its cause I.. Yea.. Just like you.. Except I dun get a fever.. *Sigh*
Eyes so dry.. Should be the opposite. Hahaha. Changed to a new pair of monthly contacts..
Alright. I dunno what to say le..*Sigh*
Tmr.. My last time I'll see ya till I dunno when.. Perhaps when our paths somehow meet.. Unlikely but yea.. :( Oh well.. Feeling like crap.
Didn't eat dinner.. No appetite.. I think its cause I'm not feeling well..
Are you able to put it down after all the happy times? All the times we shared.. Blading, our only movie, cycling on the same bike.. Dun you feel anything at all???