Thursday, November 30, 2006
9:40 AM
I was a bf for a day.. Or rather.. for a few hours.. Lol.
Let's start from YESTERDAY morning.. Which is Wednesday morning. =)
Woke up at 8.45 a.m, at least that was the time at which I set my alarm at. Mmmmm.
Took a bathe then started to do my work.. Completed Chem.. Math was rather hard. I asked help from many peeps.. Ernest Koh, Rynette, Reyneth, Clement, Boon Chin and Chia Jun.. Heh. After a long long time struggling to understand what they told me, I managed to finish Math at 3.30 p.m. Long huh?
Well, the weather was pretty awesome.. Boon Chin asked if I wanted to go blading. So I went blading with him. Supposed to have met him at 3.30 p.m at the Sungei Api Api bridge, but ended up meeting him at only 3.45 p.m. Sorry dude.. Haha.
Bladed to both ends of the park when Boon Chin wanted to buy a drink. I suddenly remembered that Da Jie was working at White Sands and asked me to go find her when I can. So I suggested heading to White Sand's 7 Eleven to get drinks. I wasn't thirsty, so went with him to go buy a drink then he waited outside White Sands while I went to find Da Jie.
Da Jie looked pretty different from the last time I saw her.. At PS during one of the days after PW practice that is. I think I blogged about it? Haha. We watched Death Note that time. Yea.
Anyway, back to where I was.. Passed her the name stickers I bought her from KL. Chatted for a while then I went back to find Boon Chin. He was feeling tired and wanted to go back so we bladed along Pasir Ris Drive 1.. Or is that Pasir Ris Drive 3? Lol. I can never remember..
Reached home at 5 p.m.. When I went to bathe.
Oh yea. During the blading thingy Handsome asked if I was going for the Post Prom Party.. She wanted to go and I also wanted to go, just that I couldn't find anyone to go with. Heh. So after bathing I checked the online messages on tpjc.net since Boon Chin said that there was a message sent out to us telling us who to contact for the party tickets.. It was being held at DXO.
Found the contact numbers of the people-in-charge of the ticket sales. Contacted the guy. He was very friendly. Haha. Well, he said there were still tickets left. So I told him I wanted a ticket and he told me to call him when I reached and he'll tell me where to get the tickets..
Handsome was at work since 7 a.m and she just thought of going for the party.. Therefore she didn't have clothes and thus couldn't decide whether to go or not.. Ended up deciding to head to Bugis to get clothes before the party. I was dressed in the new jacket I bought from KL, a long sleeve black shirt from Thailand, dark grey jeans and black shoes from Thailand. Heh.
Ok. We planned to have dinner at Airport Terminal 2 Sakae Sushi since I had to use up the voucher by the 30th of Nov. Handsome had some probs leaving from work so she only arrived at 8.25 p.m. We had to get to Bugis by about 9 p.m so that we would have some time shopping for Handsome's clothes before the shops closed.. So we simply ate all side dishes. As usual.. What I normally do/did..
After dinner took a cab to Bugis.. Planned to go to Bugis Street to get clothes but in the end Handsome wanted to go to Dorothy Perkins. Bought this.. Peach-white top. $29. Her neck looked very.. plain/empty so looked around for necklace.. Bought one for 20 bucks at one of the shop stalls. Fitted really well. Handsome actually looked great at the end of it all. LoL. =P
Walked to Esplanade.. Met up with Handsome's work friends and also with Chuan Ting, Michelle Ong, May, Irene and two of their guy friends. Chuan Ting was cold and borrowed my jacket for a while till I wanted to head to DXO and went to find Handsome. In the end Chuan Ting that group left for DXO first.. Lol.
Oh yea. I was to be Handsome's bf for the day. Lol. Cause of some reasons la Yea. Well, everything was fine till Belinda came and I was like, errm, Ber won't believe the 'lie' and what if she lets the cat out of the bag? So told Handsome about it. She typed an sms on my phone and passed it to Ber. Ber's face after that was too shocked and she kept asking, "REALLY?!?" So I knew something was not quite right. Asked Handsome exactly what did she type to Ber.. There I found the problem.. The sms read something like, "Daniel's my bf today." No wonder la. Told her that she should have typed "Daniel's my bf FOR today." LOL. So she told Ber "FOR today" and Ber went, "Chey.." Misunderstanding solved. Shows how much difference one word can make. Heh.
DXO was.. not very fun. Mmmmm. But the experience was good la. Yea.
Jocelyn Ko went too. Kinda had some conflicting interests on that. Lol.
Supposed to have left with Handsome at 11.45 p.m but she couldn't decide whether to stay.. Then she decided to stay till 12.30 a.m. and asked me to stay till then. Then at 12.10 p.m she couldn't decide whether to stay with Ber till 3+a.m, stay with Doreen till 5+a.m or leave with me at 12.30 a.m. She left with me in the end. Mmmmm. Haha.
Ended up only leaving at 12.40 a.m. Took a cab home. Asked Handsome to come over for a drink but she decided not to in the end. Heh. Reached home at 1.11 a.m. Drank a small cup by myself then went to sleep at about 1.50 a.m.. Yea. =)
I dun think I'd be going out for some time due to this. Heh.. *sigh* But guess you gotta sacrifice some stuff for others.. Mmhm..
Monday, November 27, 2006
11:22 PM
Heys. Today was dvd-and-ice-cream time~! =D
Hmmm. Shall stop calling you 'Idiot' on my blog la. Lol. Just doesn't sound right. Heh. Shall go back to calling you Handsome. Stupid is just fine though. Just got this feeling whenever I read your blog, 'Stupid' seems to fit right in with the sentence while 'Idiot' seems so weird-sounding. LoL. If I'm wrong tell me~! So I can call you 'Idiot' =D
Ok. Back to the topic.. Handsome came over to watch DVD and eat ice cream. Her mum didn't allow her, but she said she'd come anyway. Haha. Mmmmm. Before coming to my house we met up at Elias Mall.. Bought two tubs of ice cream and one box(I didn't know what word to use so used 'box' LOL.) of cup noodles. Handsome also bought a McWings meal from Macs.. then we headed to my house..
Handsome looked through the entire stack of DVDs I had, then finally decided on 'Sound Of Colours', in Chinese, 'Di4 Xia4 Tie3'. Haha. Well, the DVD wasn't in the cover, cause.. long story la. Heh. So I had to search for it and found it with some loose cds.. Mmhm.
It's my one of my fav movies.. A very nice love story. Mmmmm. Not exactly what I should have watched just after.. But well.. Handsome was there. Didn't really feel emo. Heh. Hmmm. But love stories can never be trusted la. Yea.
Dad bought me dinner, 1/2 fried chicken + coleslaw + $1 fries. Handsome had a McWings meal and one box of cup noodles. After dinner, I brought out the mashmellows I specially bought from KL for today and then we got out the ice cream~! Heh. I like the way I prepared the ice cream. So nice. Too bad I didn't think of taking pictures.. =)
Handsome sure did. She went around my house taking all the lil signs we had. Haha.
For eg..
Haha. =D
Yea. We didn't even touch the second tub of ice cream! The chocolate-toffee one. Handsome~! Come over another time yea? Then we have that tub. =)
We drank a lil of the blue French Vodka. 20%. Haha. I wasn't really used to that kinda percentage. Haha. Just remembered.. We did all sorts of nonsense quizzes from blogthings.com. Haha. Handsome is 93% depressed. LoL. =P
Mum smsed me asking what time Handsome will be going home and then whether I'm sending her home. Lol.
Started raining so took an umbrella and sent Handsome home.. Would have sent her anyway if it wasn't raining.. 11 plus le. Mmmmm.
Don't remember anything else that happened. So I guess I'll stop here.. Mmmmm.
10:16 PM
| You Are Sunrise |
You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary.
You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be. |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
| You Are 21 Years Old |
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
| You Are A Romantic Realist |
You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends! |
3:41 PM
Raina, Limpon, Shu Ling, Audrey. My target by end of this year..
1:49 PM
Who Am I - Casting Crowns
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Bridge:
Not because of who I am
But because of what you've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are
Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I'm calling
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling
And you've told me who I am
I am yours
I am yours
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Bridge + Chorus (2x)
I am yours
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
Cause I am yours
I am yours
12:18 AM
Thanks Mei and Idiot..
Thanks to Mei for calling me from Ubin to check if I'm alright.
Thanks to Idiot for letting me call her and talk till I could sleep without thinking anymore before sleeping.
You two are so important to me.. I don't know what I'd do without you two.. Seriously.. Without you I'd feel so so unsafe and scared.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Unconditional love.. I'm back to this topic again.. Hah.
That's God's love.
The closest to that is Parents' love.
How can I utter the phrase "I love you" so easily when I am so so far from loving unconditionally?? Who am I, to be able to say I love someone when I love that person based on conditions? Who am I to call myself a Christian when I am unable to try and be more like God? No. Wait. Do I even try to be more like God..?
God's love.. Is simply too great for anyone of us to bear. We are not even close to being worthy. Wait. I'm gonna stop talking in the "we" term.
I neglect him so much. I do not give Him enough time in my life, when all the time I have is from Him. He allows ME to live everyday, to wake up everyday. And yet I do not give Him the time He deserves..
The other two weeks I didn't go to church.. Yea I was not really feeling well. But that really wasn't the reason. Even if I wasn't really feeling well I would have went.
I just.. felt and feel so lost. Not because of the relationship stuff. It really wasn't about that.
One reason was realising that what I was searching for was actually someone to be there WHENEVER I need the person. Yes I know that Idiot is there. So is Mei. So are all my friends.. But its.. different somehow..
Mei and Idiot.. I know you two are always there for me, but still.. there are times I really feel like I'm being too dependant on you two.. And I dun wish to bother you about every single time I'm feeling like a total idiot, totally lost and feeling unsafe in this thing we call life..
And thus, I've successfully created times when noone is there. Kinda cause I don't let them? But still.. Mmmmm. During those times its when I realise that the security I'm looking for can only be found in God.
He really is there all the time. I guess I don't feel Him these past few weeks cause I've been too "noisy" with all the stuff in my life.. That I do not hear Him speaking to me, calling me back to His arms..
I've gotta slow down my life.. Take things slow.. Keep my heart and mind still so that I can hear what He wants me to do and see what He planned for my life.. Mmmmm.
Do you know the feeling when everything you used to WANT and LIKE to do becomes something you HAVE to do and no longer something you WANT to do? When it becomes something you feel forced to do, may it be due to obligation?
That's how I feel. Thats the second reason I didn't go to church. Irresponsible maybe? Mmmmm. That feeling can be applied to my life for stuff like, going to church, playing for worship, leading Singspiration.. Grace would know what I'm talking about.. She'll see this.. IF she even reads my blog..
I don't know what to do.. But I guess I'll know, in time.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Handsome Idiot. I can never thank you enough. Without you, I fear the future. I fear what will happen. There's just this great fear within me.. KEeping me awake at night. Thanks for letting me call you on your bus journeys back from work, till late even though you're tired.. Allowing me to get over the fear and finally sleep.
Mei. Thanks again for calling me from Ubin. Thanks for loving me somewhat unconditionally. I thank God for the miracle that the both of us could become Gor and Mei that very day after Rosyth's Sports day back when we were Sec 1, and also for this beautiful relationship I have with you that has, till now, withstood the pressures of life and time. Though I don't reply you at times, due to whatever reasons, you still never stop smsing me. For those times I do not reply, I'm sorry.
I know I've thanked you two so many times le. But no matter how many times I do thank you two, it will never be enough. To me, that is. Mmmmm.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Just wanna ask anyone who reads.. to just pray for me pls.. Pray that God would remove the fear in my heart, in my life. Pray that I'll have the faith to simply believe in Him, and stop worrying about what lies ahead in my life.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
11:57 PM
Kek---orewa chicken macnugget san! says:
ha
Kek---orewa chicken macnugget san! says:
u will be fine
Kek---orewa chicken macnugget san! says:
juz lyk me
-----------------------------
Thanks dude.. The most reassuring words came from you. The one I'm least closest to.. Strange huh. Mmmmm.
11:37 PM
Who am I trying to kid..?? I sure ain't kidding myself.. Mmmmm.
I hate nights. So quiet. So dark. So uneventful. Esp when Clay and Idiot aren't free for over-night outings..
I hate nights. Where are you, Idiot. You've been out of sorts lately. You haven't been feeling too good either.. I haven't been hearing from you for some time le. I need you.. To be there. Make me feel safe again.. Somehow..
10:38 PM
Alright. Gotta plan Rey-Chris-Me and Grace-Marc-Me outings. Lol.
9:03 PM
| Your Hidden Talent |
Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements. |
6:07 PM
Strange that it will end on the very same date. Two months after it started. Heh.. Mmmmm..
Though I've been expecting it, still its hitting me harder than I expected. I tried to stand. But my body just got all weak. The tears wouldn't come. But I guess they won't. Not yet. Or maybe they won't. This doesn't show anything. Just maybe I'm still reeling in the shock.
As I had smsed you, you would know that I 'm not really gonna accept just that sms. Its not just gonna be that sms.
I've got nothing else to say now. Maybe later..
Saturday, November 25, 2006
11:11 PM
| Your Power Color Is Red-Orange |
At Your Highest:
You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.
At Your Lowest:
You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.
In Love:
You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.
How You're Attractive:
You are very affectionate and inspire trust.
Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Respected?" |
11:41 AM
Who I Am Hate Who I've Been - Relient K
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the pacific
And you might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics
Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life
Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should have crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should have said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back
I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been
I talk to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside had finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'd soon blow up
And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless
I got myself together I would watch me fall apart
And I can't let this happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been
And this is no place to try and live my life
Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well I never should have crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should have said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back
(x2)
I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me
Who I am hates who I've been
Cause who I've been only ever made me
So sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been
Friday, November 24, 2006
11:04 PM
Sometimes I just tell myself, I'm tired of giving my all only to have the girl take me for granted and all. I tell myself, hey.. come on just flirt and have fun. There's no need to get serious. If you hurt anyone on the way, its too bad.. Not my fault or anything.
Or I tell myself, get into a relationship just for fun. I can still go around flirting, just as long as my girlfriend doesn't know.
Or I tell myself, when I get into a relationship, it doesn't have to be marriage at the end, there's no need to give my all, I can just get into this relationship to have fun. Have a fling then go.
But I tell myself, at the end of all these thoughts.. This isn't what love is about.. Love is about giving your all, no caring about what you get in return, not caring about not getting anything in return.
And yet I also tell myself, I'm not that good a guy. I can't love unconditionally. I would admit my love is kinda selfish. I love people who smile, who need me, who are happy, who love me..
But who am I to have all these thoughts about unconditional love when I am unable to give it? I have to be realistic.. Mmmmm.
I know I tell myself, and you, that I will love you till you love me back as much in return. That you dun have to worry about not loving me as much as I do you..
Who am I trying to kid? I can't do that. I'm not Wei Jin. I'm just.. Mmmmm.
I'll tell you realistically.. all that I am. I am just a guy, trying to love you the best way he can. Trying to learn how to love you best. I may not be the best of lovers. I may not be sensitive enough, I may push you too hard, I may take things too fast, I may be controlling.. And all that. But I want to know how to love you best. I want to grow with you, learn the rights and wrongs.. Learn as you tell me what mistakes I'm making. Learn with me, grow with me.. Is that too much to ask? Mmmmm. I dunno.. I want to be there for you whenever you're down, when you want me to be there. I am not at all close to loving unconditionally. I am not at all close to being perfect. But isn't that what a relationship is about? Isn't it about growing together? Learning together? Or is it about just looking for a guy who you think is a nice guy and has the qualities you like?
Is it truly about finding someone you can't live without or is it finding someone you can live with? Is the overly-romanticized phrase about "finding the love of your life" = "finding someone you can't live without" really true or realistic?? Come on.. There is no PERSON you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT. Even 'Princess Hours' said that. Humans adapt to changes..
Yea. I can truly tell you that I can live without any one person. We can live without any one person. Because before we met THAT particular person.. We were living fine weren't we?
I believe finding a gf is simply finding someone you can live with and hope to grow with, through times of trouble and times of happiness.. Someone you can learn from and teach too. Someone who will forgive your mistakes and you will forgive too. Its not about looks. If you manage to get someone with looks and all the other stuff then you're lucky. But really, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My friends are never ugly. To me. Yea.
I have nothing else to say. Mmmmm.
Till then. I hate having thoughts coming to my mind and me having to blog them to get them out of my head for good. But well.. Guess it works this way. Dun hate me people. Haha.
Monday, November 20, 2006
9:07 PM
Hey peeps. I;m gg off to Malaysia, KL tmr morning at 5.a.m. Yea. Perhaps this would be a good chance to get away from everything. Yupps.
Just before I go.. To Mei and Shimu. I'm sorry. I just dun feel like explaining right now. Mmmmm. Anything just read my blog.
Bye peeps. Anything sms me. =) See ya.
10:04 AM
Just read this from Chuan Ting's blog.. Mmmmm. It's part of the blog skin la I guess.. Yea.
"You have no idea, how much I miss you. I wanna see your smiles again, hear your laughter once more, and feel your kiss for the last time."
Yea.
-----------------------------
I wanna see your smile, the one that makes me feel like everything is alright again.
I wanna hear you laugh at me, for all the stupid things I do just to make you laugh.
I wanna feel your kiss, as you try to shut me up.. lol.
-----------------------------
If you wanna leave, will you give me one of each.. one last time?
If you wanna stay, will you promise to give me a regular dosage of each?
If you wanna leave, will you give me one last date, as though nothing was gonna happen after that date?
If you wanna stay, will you give me many many dates, just go out with me without a care in the world.. just loving me and letting me love you.. just spending quality time with me.. not caring about any other things?
-----------------------------
I seriously don't know what you want.. What you will say when you get back from Cambodia.. Mmmmm.
If you wanna stay then talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me what's going on. Dun just leave me hanging.. pls..
If you wanna go, I know that it would be painful and hard for me to let you go. I know that I will cry. I know that I will be in pain. But if you wanna go, go with a free heart. Be happy. And take care of yourself.
That's about all I have to say. Mmmmm. That's all that is going through my mind right now. All that I wanna get out of my mind onto this blog..
2:06 AM
Could you take me away from all this? Away to some place, any place.. without any cares.. Handsome?
Anyone? Take me away..
Sunday, November 19, 2006
9:06 PM
If you say that there is not enough justice, then I shall become justice, and I shall vanquish the cloud that is the source of the world's evil..
9:05 PM
I want to become a person who will chase away the clouds so that the light of the stars will not vanish..
9:04 PM
It's always so much easier to break away then to embrace.. It is much harder to be together than to be all alone..
Saturday, November 18, 2006
8:34 PM
If I were the rain.. that binds together the earth and the sky, who in all eternity will never mingle, would I be able to bind the hearts of two people together..?
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
9:17 PM
After all there is nothing but fear reflected in your sword.
When you dodge, "I'm afraid of getting cut."
When you attack, "I'm afraid of cutting someone."
Even when you try to protect someone, "I'm afraid of letting them die."
If you dodge, "I won't let them cut me."
If you protect someone, "I won't let them die."
If you attack, "I'll cut them."
-------------------------
When you love, "I'm afraid of being taken advantage of."
When you wait, "I'm afraid that your feelings for me will cool off till there's none left."
When you let go, "I'm afraid to lose you. I don't wanna face the future alone."
If you love, "I will love you with all of my heart, not caring what people say."
If you wait, "I will give you all the time you need.."
If you let go, "I will let you pursue your fate.."
1:43 AM
Nobody knows who I really am.
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?
We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day
dooku de iki o shiteru toomei ni natta mitai
kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake
inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong
hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru
tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku
And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can't see the shore
Oh, I can't see the shore
When will I see the shore?
I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong
tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de ume o terashidasu
inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore
Unmei no huneoko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to watashi-tachi o sou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
3:10 PM
well, obviously because I sneaked out.. I can't blog about it in detail.. Haha. Dun really want to as well la. Yupps..
Just got a few things in mind as I blog this post..
1stly to my dear classmates who were there.. I'm sorry but I really couldn't do it. When you pushed me I just wanted to break down yea..? I just couldn't do it.. Surely you know the situation.. Dixon would.. But why did you still push me too?
2nd that its just.. obvious. Him coming, its like the bowling thing all over again. You giving me the, reluctant signs. Going to the toilet immediately after just to get away. Not hanging out. Then the weird sms saying you've got some things to tell me.. Asking her to tell me. Then she being unhappy about that fact. I dun think you need to tell me. If it were good then she would have told me? Hmmm. My conclusion la. Also your last blog post.. Mmmmm. Kinda think thats for me and you're trying to tell me 2 things in that little paragraph. One I know, is wrong. So yea. I've come to that conclusion that its bad. But still.. Of course I'm hoping its good.. I'll be waiting for you to get back so you can tell me like you promised in the sms..
Just take care of yourself there. Hope you read the cards one by one.. Each day. I'll be praying for you everyday as well as thinking of you.. Missing you. Perhaps while I still can.
I love you.. But now all that these three words mean is that I'll accept whichever choice you make. Stay or go. I guess I dun really have a choice yea..
I wish Handsome weren't at OBS. Now I am... truly alone.. I wish you were back.. YOU IDIOT!! Why'd you have to go?!?! *sigh* Smsed you 3 smses last night. Or rather. This morning while I was there..
Well, thats all I have to say.
When you're emo, you're emo. Yea.
Friday, November 10, 2006
11:57 PM
OP IS OVER~!! YEA~! =D
Finally la. Kek and Henry told me that I have improved since the last OP rehearsal.. Haha. It was kinda good. =)
My group met up at the interchange Macs(Belinda calls it the 'cosy Macs') at 10 a.m.. Ok. I was late by 15 mins. Haha. Mmmmm.
Me, Edwin and Fyonne ate Hotcakes with Sausage.. For me, its.. AGAIN~!!@!#@!#!! I'm sick of Macs. I dun like the breakfast burgers.. I always wanna eat Big Breakfast but theres the stupid bread too. Haha. I find its too dry for me. Hmmmm. Yea. Oh wells.
Wrote our scripts out.. Then after finishing breakfast, we left for school. Practiced on our own and two times as a group. Mmmmm.
Nth much to say also la. Kinda normal. Nothing special. Haha. Yupps.
Me, Elvis, Clayder and Belinda were supposed to go play arcade today.. But Belinda didn't have money and couldn't decide if she wanted to go. She said she wanted to decide after OP but that was too late for Clayder. His boss was chasing him for an answer whether he will be working OT. Hmmm. So in the end I cancelled it..
Smsed all of them saying its cancelled.. Handsome Idiot replied asking if we could go without the rest since they can't go.. So ok lor. Ended up me and Handsome went to PS to play arcade.. Haha.
After OP I went home to change.. It started raining when I was on my way back till just before I left the house. Got on bus 81 and Handsome hopped on at her bus stop. Took the bus to Kovan MRT, where we got off and ate dinner at the hawker centre..
I ate Mixed Veg Rice.. The rice and dishes de la. Yea. I ordered the exact same dishes I always used to order when I was in Pri sch. Pork Chop and Tofu.. Brought back so many memories..
Memories of my Mum fetching me from outside school.. I would hop into the car, be it lunch or dinner(morning or afternoon session) and there would be a pack of rice with Pork Chop and Tofu. Yums. Mum would take care of our Digimons for us, at that time Digimons were the "in" thing. Mmmmm. I miss those times.. *quiet sigh*
After dinner, I wanted to visit Raina and her Mum at the Nail Painting shop they have.. But they weren't there. Mmmmm.
So we headed on to PS. Again. Haha. Handsome wanted to buy FBTs so we went to Carrefour. Bought it then went to play arcade~!!! =)
Played so many games.. Haha. The 1st one, dunno what name de, I would win all the 'running' parts while Handsome would win all the 'games' parts. Lol. That Idiot can't 'run'. =P Too 'slow'~!! Heh.
2nd game we played 'House of the dead 4'. I died first. Then handsome killed the boss and went on to the next stage where she promptly died. =)
3rd game was the spot-the-difference-in-the-2-pics game. Haha. 'PhotoHunt' I think. Mmmmm. Had a lovely time with this game. =D
4th was Datona~! Handsome's car was so damn fast.. Accelerated so quickly too. I tried three other cars but couldn't beat her. Only when I used her car and she used another car that I managed to beat her. Hmmm. That shows one thing, ITS THE CAR. NOT HER SKILL. LOL. =P
5th game was basketball.. Handsome beat me la. Mmmmm. Couldn't get the hang of it till after the 1st time. We played twice.. But still.. I lost to her. =( And our arms ache-ed after the game. Haha.
The 'Tapz' card didn't have anymore money after those games so we headed back to PS. We were about to eat waffle + ice cream at Gelare when Belinda smsed Handsome and asked us to go Marine Parade to meet her. So we did..
Took bus 36.. Hahaha. Laughed alot on the bus thanks to us not knowin whether we were in the direction or not. LOL.
Found out that the Gelare at Parkway Parade was not there anymore so I suggested having ice cream at Swensens. Ordered an Earthquake and fries. Belinda came in jersey and shorts. Heh.
Pretty fun time with those two idiots. =P HAHA.
Sent Belinda home(considered sending her home le la..) and then me and Handsome took a cab back..
The stupid cab driver, this 60+ year-old uncle, was nice.. But talked alot. Heh.
He asked if we bought anything.. So I said, "Erm, she bought shorts."
Then he went on to ask, "You paid for her ah?"
I was like, "Err.. No. She paid for it herself.." I could tell where this was gg but well, I just wanted to wait and see.. And I was right..
The cab uncle went on, "You go out with your gf and you dun pay for her?"
LOL. We explained that I already had a gf.. And my gf wasn't Handsome. Mmmmm.
The guy then asked, "On a fri night, you don't go out with your gf but on your own with another friend?"
I was left speechless so I just said, "My gf is at home.. She's busy with sch stuff.." I mean, what else could I say.. My gf isn't talking to me? Haha. Mmmmm.
Alot of other nonsense la. Kinda forgot and kinda dun wanna type. Stupid stuff.
Dropped Handsome home first, then went home. It was only after I got off the cab and all that I realised Handsome's FBTs were still with me. Hmmmm. Oh wells. Meet her tmr to pass to her before her training bah. Yupps.
Its late. Emo-ness coming. I'm gg to slp. Or try to. Nite peeps..
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
9:11 PM
Had another PW rehearsal today.. Haha. Wasn't very productive la. Mmmmm.
Well, me, Clayder and Ying Jie were supposed to go watch a movie la. Hmmm. Not "supposed" to, in actual fact. Haha. In fact, me and Ying Jie were just smsing the previous night. About wanting to watch DeathNote. It was kinda too late to sms Clayder. I think it was 12a.m.? Haha.
So I told Ying Jie that I'd sms Clayder to ask him if he was free.. Clayder wasn't.. Then Ying Jie smsed me asking me to just pei her watch la. Mmmmm. So ok lor.. Since I didn't have anything to do anyway.. Asking you if I could go with her wouldn't get me a reply. So yea..
After PW met up with Ying Jie at Bugis.. I shall not say I was not shocked by what she was wearing. Cause I was. Hah. Sorry Da Jie. =P Shall not reveal what she was wearing, here.. Lol.
Well, we went to Bugis to look for my cap.. Bugis Village(is that what you call it??) and all around Bugis la. Nothing~!
Went on to PS.. Window shopping.. Haha. You know what.. I can't really remember what happened le. As in the specifics. Hmmm.
The movie we were watching, 'DeathNote', was at 3.40 p.m.. We window-shopped till like 3.25 p.m then I bought Burger King while Ying Jie got herself a huge box of popcorn and a drink. Lol. =)
DeathNote was nice! =D I know I'm really lagging la.. Only watched the movie now. Mmmmm. But yea, its nice! Heh.
After the movie we went to Comics Connection.. Ying Jie bought a few things there.. Something to hang on her phone(some anime characters) and a 'DeathNote' notebook. Ying Jie paid for the movie tickets first and thus she didn't have money to pay for the notebook and all.. So we had to go down to draw cash, not with a pencil, mind you. From the machine. Lol. =P ok.. Lame.. =)
On the way to DBS, we passed PS's 77th Street.. AND I saw the good nice caps!~!! Heh. Told Ying Jie that we'll come back after we get her stuff..
I wanted to buy Hin Fan one of those 'DeathNote' notebooks too.. But well.. I was kinda spending my savings already, so yea. And I needed to get my cap. =)
Took some time trying on the three caps and finally decided to get the simpler one. Haha.
Here is a pic of my cap. Just took it. Haha. Nice right? =)
After that we had to go off le.. Took NEL with Ying Jie to Sengkang and took 89 from there home.. =)
And so, here I am. Haha. Yupps.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
5:05 PM
Wah.. I'm so dead tired la~!! *yawn* *snore*
Legs aching. Back aching.
Ok. This is a two-day period story starting from Sunday evening..
Sunday - 4/11/06
I met up with Clayder at 7.15 p.m at Elias Mall.. where we had dinner. Clayder's treat. Haha. Hmmm. He had Roasted Chicken Noodle la. I just had 8 Onion Rings. Lol. I wasn't feeling very hungry since I ate some pieces of duck at home before leaving so yea.. =)
We finished dinner at about 8p.m, after which we bladed to Pasir Ris Park, Pasir Ris Town Park, Sun Plaza Park, Century Square and finally to East Point.. Haha. Nth much to say about the journey there..
Just that at Simei MRT, I didn't notice this hole in the ground and I was gg quite fast.. Tripped and rolled on the ground. Haha. Got up feeling fine at first, but after a few secs of recovering from shock, I realised I couldn't breathe properly. My right lung seemed to have been squashed. Heh. Got home and found a huge bruise at my right shoulder. Mmmmm. Well, felt better after resting awhile. =)
We were about to blade into East Point when I stopped at the door after seeing this sign, "No rollerblading". So we ended up taking off our blades and walking into East Point in our socks. LOL. UN-GLAM~!!
Took many un-glam photos IN EASTPOINT.. Here they are.. Heh.
Me and Clayder posing for the camera. UNGLAM~! =D
Clayder hugging the dustbin.. LOL.
Clayder smelling the dustbin's contents.. Ultimate UNGLAM-NESS~! Haha.
Ok. So we got quite bored.. Thus explaining this picture. =)
Ok. That's it for pictures.. Haha. Dun wanna put too many up..
At that point in time, my dad called me and asked me where I was.. He said I didn't tell them that I was gg out when I did! My mum just forgot.. Mmmmm.
But anyway, it was about 9.30p.m already and we were still at Simei(a long way from Pasir Ris), so we made our way back lor. Up the many many steps of the overhead bridge from Simei to Tampines, the long path to TM, through SunPlaza park to the park connector, up the slopes of the overhead bridge from Tampines park connector to Pasir Ris park connector, through Pasir Ris Town Park.. Then home. Managed to reach home by 10.30p.m..
Bathed, was tired but didn't feel like sleeping so I took out the 2nd book of Artemis Fowl and started reading. Read the whole book and finished at about 1.13a.m..
Up till now I still dun have a clue why.. Perhaps the morning was so quiet and peaceful, but I was damn emo. Wanted to.. Haha. Mmmmm. Anyway, so I smsed 3 peeps.. Mei, Handsome and Victoria.. I think my message was something like.. "Hey.. Are you there?"
Well.. Only Handsome replied.. At 1.18a.m.
To Mei and Victoria. Its alright. No need to apologise.. I didn't expect a reply from anyone.. It was kinda late le. Handsome had just got home from work, so she was awake. Haha.
Well, unintentionally I tested Handsome's promise that she'll always be there for me..
I just realised something.. When someone tells you that they'll always be there for you.. Its not about that person being awake whenever you need him/her. Its about him/her being there for you, giving you his/her time when he/she IS awake, putting everything down, no matter what time it is..
You did it for me Handsome. Thank you. Even at 1.18a.m when you just came back from work, you were there for me. You're the best Handsome Idiot in the world. =D
Well, so I got changed.. Quickly and quietly, I left the house and cycled to Handsome's house.. Handsome was wearing specs.. Cute.. Lol. =)
We sat at table under her block just talking.. Listening to music.. Stayed there till 3.18a.m..
Cycled home.. Reached home at 3.42a.m. Bathed and fell asleep feeling much better.. Mmmmm.
Monday - 4/11/06
Woke up at 11.08a.m feeling v v tired.. I didn't wanna wake up but my Grandma woke me up so I kinda couldn't fall back to sleep..
Was about to bathe when Roxy called.. "Wanna go blading? NOW!" LoL. I was kinda blur and well.. Didn't feel like staying at home so I told her I'll meet her at 11.30a.m. after I get a bath.. So I met her la..
I FORGOT ABOUT TRAINING~!! SHIT~!!! =S Until Roxy asked me, "Why aren't you at volleyball training?" Oops..
I smsed Audrey to tell her.. Mmmmm. Didn't know who to sms.. Well, Audrey replied with the punishment.. Haha. I'm dead..
Well, Roxy didn't blade v well.. =P But not too bad la. =) Dun kill me Roxy.. Haha.
Can't really remember where we bladed to. I guess just to both ends of Pasir Ris Park.. Mmhm. OH YA. WE saw many many many jellyfishes. At both bridges we stopped at.. =) Tiny ones.. big ones.. Damn cute la. Haha. Got blue ones, got pink ones, got purple ones..
After that we wanted to get a drink so headed to the Minimart beside some sch opposite Downtown East.. Bought drinks and sat down at some table and talked about work and handphones and dunno what la. Heh.
Bladed with her to her house at about 2.30 p.m.(If I'm not wrong..), then bladed home. Got home, lazed around and then waited for Sadik to come to my house. Haha. Mmmmm.
He only reached at about 5 p.m, then we went downstairs to talk about his SS and E Math papers. Mmmmm. Dude, I'll be praying for you everyday till your papers end.. Take care yea? =)
Sadik left at about 6.15 p.m and I went to get ready for the Si Zhi Lu Kou Recee. Haha.
Lazy to blog about what happened during the entire recee.. Well, just that my group walked along the park connectors from Aloha Loyang to TM. Then we took the MRT to Bedok to meet the other group. Ate "dinner" there at 11.15 p.m.. Then left for home from Bedok with Grace..
Shagged.. That explains why my legs and back are aching. Haha. Mmmmm.
Phew. Finally done with this post.. LOL. =)
Saturday, November 04, 2006
10:18 AM
Been thinking alot these few days.. In a way this break is kinda good. Been reflecting alot and realised many things..
Realised why you're angry, realised what I did, realised how you feel, realised what I am.. But this post is not about you. And its not gonna be about you. Its gonna about my friends.. And it will.
I realised that I'm really very loved..
People have been telling me that they'll always be there for me. People like Handsome, Mei.. They HAVE always been there for me..
Maybe me and Mei have drifted apart many many times these 5 years.. But we always come back to where we left off and continue.. So not counting those drifting-apart periods.. She has always been there for me. Smsing me sweet smses even when I don't sms her or sometimes don't reply her due to various reasons..
Handsome's words I can really trust.. After all. She's the kinda person who takes the words 'ALWAYS be there for you' very very seriously.. She did tell me that night, that she wouldn't easily speak those words unless she knows that she really can do it.. And she told me those words, so.. Yea..
Also.. Friends like Adele, Edwin Lee, Clayder and Victoria..
To Adele and Edwin Lee.. Don't think you guys would be reading this.. But I'm really sorry for the way I treat you guys at times. Guess I'm kinda being what I hate. I'm being a person who takes people for granted. I take it for granted that I know you'll always be there as a friend no matter what. All these times I've thrown my temper at you. You are always there ready to be with me, as a friend. Thank you.
To Clayder and Victoria.. You two are more likely to read this.. Mmmmm. I just wanna say thank you for being there when I need you. When I'm down.
Victoria = Thank you for your good nite smses and the good luck sms for my Chinese paper yesterday.. =)
Clayder = Thank you for those stress-relieving blading outings to Pasir Ris Park or to Tampines Mall. =)
Yea. Thank you, people. You're the best. =D
Friday, November 03, 2006
11:52 PM
Whoa.. I'm so full now la. Haha. =)
Just came back from a buffet at Hotel Phoenix to celebrate Mei's birthday. I believe I wished her yesterday already, so I shan't wish her here again. Heh.
The people who went..
Mei, me and Dave. =)
Desseri(thats her name right??) and Rynette.
I set my alarm to wake me up at 5 p.m, but my dearest Mei called me up at 4.50 p.m. to wake me up and told me to get down immediately. Hahaha. 10 mins really is a big difference when you sleep.
I reached Somerset at 6.15 p.m. I was at Bugis at 6.05 p.m. when Ryn called me.. and she asked if I was gonna be late? Huh? Weren't we supposed to meet at 6.30 p.m.? Would I be late if I were already at Bugis at 6.05 p.m.?? Haha. Maybe she was hoping that I was late so that I would have to treat or something.. That's the way things work when meeting Mei. LOL.
Well.. Dave came late. At about.. 6.55 p.m. if I'm not wrong. Haha.
Ok. The food there was.. not too bad. Quite nice la. Mmmmm. I had alot of Fried Rice, which Ryn had to mention many times. Lol. The Man Tou's were great too. Yum-my~! =)
And supposedly I am very small-boy.. According to my dear Mei and Ryn. Esp when scooping ice cream?? L.O.L~! Ryn kept laughing at me. You pixie girl~!! Grrrr. Haha. =)
Somewhere in between, the two girls went to get the cake from the Hotel Phoenix staff.. Supposedly Desseri went to meet Sean to get the cake from him beforehand and left it with the Hotel Phoenix staff before meeting Mei. And of course, Mei didn't know anything about Sean's involvment in the whole thing. Yea. So we just took out the cake and started eating. HMMM. Oh yea. Why didn't we sing a birthday song? Weird leh.. Maybe its because we were too loud already? Haha.
Maybe. Yea. Mei was so.. hmmm. Haha. She kept laughing out LOUD. and when I say loud, I MEAN LOUD! =D Scared the lady in the table behind us everytime. Haha. =) My dear Mei..
Well, so we all ate till we were very very full.. Hmmm. Dave too right? Not too sure about tt. But I know me, Ryn and Desseri were VERY full. Mei, as usual, wasn't full.. She's NVR full. Haha.
Since Dave was late.. He was kinda forced to fetch us all home. Heh. I was the one sent back first la. Since I lived in Pasir Ris.. The most out-of-the-way place. Compared to the rest la. Yupps..
I reached home at about 11 p.m. The rest must have reached home very late la. Haha.
Yea..
That's about it la. Mmmmm. =)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
8:18 AM
Yesterday went out with Handsome.. Both of us were feeling down. Dunno if she's comfortable with me saying why here. Haha.
Ok. 1st, about before I met her.
Aunty Aitin, my neighbour from directly above, came down as usual to use our Tread Mill. Haha. Then Grandma came over to clean the house cause my Mum can't really do much in her current condition. And my Grandma is the best.. =)
Grandma spotted that the curtain rails were actually just screwed on and so, could just be taken off with a screw driver..
Some background info. The previous evening my Godma and Grandma came to my house.. My Godma helped to take off all the living room curtains(they've been there for what.. 11 years?? LOL), and she said that the curtain rails need a drill or something. Not very sure what she said but she made it sound v complicated. Haha.
Yea. So I took a screw driver and simply unscrewed all the little screws and tada.. All the curtain rails came off. =)
After that Dad came to fetch Mum to East Point to cut, dye and highlight her hair(as usual) an Grandma had to go back too. Mmmmm.
Ok. So I left the house at 12p.m, and thought it would be better to tell Handsome I would be late(we planned to meet at 12p.m). Hmmm. What I meant was I just left the house at the time we were supposed to meet and so I'll be late. She thought I couldn't leave the house yet. Haha. Maybe I did give the wrong impression. Hmmm. Heh.
I ended up reaching the MRT at 12.20p.m. and she ended up reaching at 12.45p.m. Maybe next time I wouldn't bother smsing. =P
Took bus 12 to Katong Mall.. Got a small room for 3 hours, starting at 1.30p.m.. The room was really small. You could JUST fit 2 people comfortably.. 3 and it would be a squeeze. Haha. And there was this irritating air spray that would give off a spray of air freshener(smelt to me like some toilet air freshener. Stinks.). Thankfully Handsome managed to switch it off, PHEW. =)
Sang songs. Some parts I got quite bored.. I would just lie down there.. Heh. Some songs I distinctively remember, Drowning, Change the World, Never Had a Dream Come True, Have You Ever, What Makes A Man(Which Handsome dedicated to me. LoL.) and the last song that we sang, Bring It All Back. This song totally got the mood up. Haha. A very good last song. =D This reminded me of the Talentime in P6.. Sweet memories.. =)
So yea.. We ended at 4.30p.m. It costs us $8 each. Haha. The song selection was pretty good, so I feel its worth it. =) And no irritating people comin into your room to ask you what drinks you want, or comin in with the bill. Hah. =P
Atfer that we had lunch-dinner at some place just outside Katong Mall. I had Fried Rice with Salted Fish while Handsome couldn't decide between Hor Fun and Ee Mee. So since she hasn't tried the Ee Mee yet so told her to get tt lor.
Oh yea. Before we sat down to eat we walked past this bakery in Katong Mall. They just baked PIE. Which smelt damn good, but I wanted the little donuts even more. Haha. I told Handsome that we'll come back later to get donuts.
But when we got back.. They were all sold out. *sigh* Even after eating lunch-dinner.. The great smell of the bakery made us feel unsatisfied.. The food we just ate didn't seem enough. Heh. So we went to TM's Four Leaves to buy bread. Bought alot. Haha.
Took an MRT down to Pasir Ris and walked home.. Handsome sent me back. Hehe.
Came home, cooked all the potato wedges in the freezer, took Mum's half-box-full of cheese sticks and the whole lot of bread we bought earlier, and brought my bike to the bike shop at Elias Mall to pump up my wheels.. Had some brake probs too. Mmhm.
Handsome's mum's bike had some wheel probs and her bike had some chain prob. So they went to the bike shop to get it done.
Then we started off for the park. Headed for the playground, the smaller spider-web structure.. Sat at the top, ate the food.. Talked, laughed, sang, thought..
Left the place at about 10p.m. for my house.. I went up to get the two bottles of Barcadi and we sat at some place near my house to drink and eat the 4 donuts.. Talked some more.. We came up with the names 'Idiotically Handsome' and 'Stupidly Beautiful'. 1st name is hers while the 2nd name is mine. =D Oh yea. My name was changed from 'Pretty' to 'Beautiful' sometime during the day. LOL.
We were there till 11.10p.m. after which I cycled Handsome back. Haha.
------------------------------
Wanna thank you Handsome.. For such a wonderful day. Being with you just makes me feel so at ease.. Its like you said before. Nth else matters. Just me, you and the music..
Being with you made me think alot about myself and my life.. Esp at the playground. Just sitting there eating, we talking.. I thought about all you said.. and about my own stuff. But my thoughts never seemed like it would overcome me. With you there, I just felt safe. With you there, I felt no danger of my emotions overcomin me..
Of course I thought of you too.. Since when has a day gone by since I didn't think of you.. Mmmmm.
I have so much more to say.. But my Mum is chasing me to go for lunch. We didn't have lunch..
In case you're wondering.. Yes, its 11a.m. now. I started at 8.18a.m. Haha.